Vendredi 16 novembre 2007 à 8:56


Les Pianos !


Plusieurs Scénarios...


- Vous n'appelez tout de même pas ça un piano ? Cette chose jaune qui va m'éblouir ? Il est complètement faux en plus. - Mais madame, la semaine dernière, jacques Brel... - Je n'ai pas le talent de monsieur Brel. Et puis vous mentez, jamais Jouannest n'aurait joué là-dessus. Joss ! Essaye-le. Joss fait le dos rond, voudrait que ça s'arrange. - Écoute, Barbara... en le réaccordant peut-être... en jouant moins fort... - En chantant dans le noir et en me trouvant une mandoline à la place... Malheureusement, elle jouait quand même, s'excusant entre deux chansons. Une fois le spectacle commença avec plus d'une heure de retard, le public silencieux subissant derrière le rideau fermé le concert de l'accordeur que l'on n'avait trouvé qu'à l'heure du dîner.

 
Casquée, bottée, nez pointu, la chanteuse se fait ouvrir les coulisses. Mine sidérée du machiniste de service. Il est quatre heures de l'après-midi. - Où est le piano ? - Là, madame, je crois. - Vous croyez ? - Oh ! moi... Les pianos... - Ça commence bien. Joss ! Ça va, l'accord ? Joss pianote, fait la moue. - Appelez-moi le directeur ! Un homme, disons affable, arrive. -
" 442 " ça vous dit quelque chose ? - Excusez-moi, madame ? - Je ne peux pas jouer sur ce piano. Appelez-moi l'accordeur !


-
Elle s'assied sur le tabouret, enveloppée dans son châle noir. On gèle. Elle ouvre le piano, l'essaye, reste figée. - Où est le directeur ? - Mais madame... Il a un déjeuner d'affaires. - Ah oui ? Quand il reviendra, dites-lui que s'il ne change pas ce... piano, il n'y a pas de spectacle ce soir - Mais madame, c'est plein... - Justement ! Le directeur arrive, disons, la mine enfarinée. - On me dit que vous n'aimez pas mon piano, madame ? - Qu'elle piano ? C'est une casserole votre piano ! - Mais... France Gall en était contente et... - Je n'ai pas le talent de madame France Gall. - Il faut vous dire, madame, que les musiciens ne sont pas toujours tendres avec les instruments... Je ne savais pas que vous jouiez vous même... Ma femme est pianiste et... - Ah ? Vous avez un piano chez vous ? ( mine navrée du directeur ) - Oui, un Steinway... ( Oeil brillant de la chanteuse ) - Allez me le chercher ! Ce qui fut fait. 


Un jour il y eut Fontainebleau. Joli petit théâtre. Georges Ollivier, qui ne devait pas avoir la conscience tranquille, clamait " Vous allez voir un piano magnifique " Arrivée de la chanteuse et de son équipe sur le plateau. Lumière. Nous nous regardons atterrés. Elle  : - Qu'est-ce que c'est que ça ? Le directeur tout fier : - Ah, madame, il est d'époque ! Elle s'approche. L'instrument est entièrement peint, couvercle et flancs, de femmes nues, Vénus et autres déesses blondes, environnées de fleurettes et d'amour joufflus. - C'est une oeuvre d'art, messieurs dames ! - Bien sûr, bien sûr... Venez là, monsieur le directeur. ( Elle assied le pauvre homme sur son tabouret. ) Voilà vous êtes là, vous chantez " Il pleut sur Nantes " vous ouvrez les yeux, alors les seins de la dame vous sautent à la figure... Après palabres à n'en plus finir, c'est elle qui trouva la solution : on loua chez Borniol une tenture noire dont on empaqueta l'oeuvre d'art. Pendant son tour de chant, elle expliqua au public, ravi, les seins de la dame. Le directeur fut tout de même déçu.

 
Extrait du livre


 http://mybabou.cowblog.fr/images/livremarieB.gif 

Par pilgrim.II le Vendredi 16 novembre 2007 à 13:30
Arf , j’aime cette femme ^.^

Une "pince sans rire" et de la "classe"…
Je dis , Madame!

et toi un gros bisous ma Baboulove;)
Par soft-snow le Vendredi 16 novembre 2007 à 16:31
Une sacré bonne oreille, folle du 442Hz à ce que je vois...
Quant aux caprices de star... ceux qui concernent les intruments sont bien légitimes :)

Si ce blog continue de tant m'interesser, je vais aller écouter Barbara sur Youtube.

Bonne fin de journée, et merci pour ces articles passionnants !
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